I drove down to manresa this morning to look at the water, but with this nagging feeling in my head that maybe today isn't the day for it. I need something though, but I am not feeling keen. The surf down there is very calm, small waves breaking 15 yards out. The surfers don't look happy; one is conferring with a buddy over the cellphone. Red tide looks like it is gone. One fisherman is in the surf casting while walking northward fairly fast. No beach structure observed. The tide is up.
I can't decide, so I stay put. It is very sunny out, and the conditions don't feel right. The fishing might be good come low tide, but I can't be here then. 'Shoulds' are floating around me.. 'should go fishing; I am here'.. no, I don't want to attach any such pressure to this my activity. 'Should go in to work early today'.. now there is a genuine should, and probably a wise one. I stand and look up and down the beach, taking in the sounds and the mild breeze.
Tom McGuane's "The longest silence" is with me in the car; I sit down and read the chapter on the Golden Gate casting club in 1966, my birth year. What a wonderful writer -- his introduction alone had me astounded. Maybe this is all I needed today; a little time in 'fishing mind', without needing to go through the trouble of waders and tackle. Enough of the ingredients to satisfy for the moment.
Like a visit to the casting ponds only, no fish required.
There is a riddle here.
The fisherman returns satisfied
with a dry line.